Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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