I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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