last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
