Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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