Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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