there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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