Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
