I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
