im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
sick fucks of a feather flock together
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
