You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
