So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
