I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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