Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
