I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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