is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
