There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
