So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
