Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
