I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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