This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
