i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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