Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
