I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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