I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
