trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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