Pants 0. Shit 1.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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