trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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