i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
