I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
