Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
