He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dicks are not precious.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
