turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
