if you like me you must not know who I am
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i think my cat just said my name.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
