you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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