id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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