oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
