My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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