Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
