There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
