I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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