He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
