I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
