just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
