Me too!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
