It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
