I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
two words: eviction party
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
