Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
FUCK WHALES
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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