Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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