I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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