I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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